literature

Ah Won't Say It

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 AH WON'T SAY IT
BY TMNTFAN85


(after the events  of spike at your service, applejack's thoughts turn to spike to which she realize she maybe in love and denies it)

"Hmm.." applejack sat on her hunches, mind deep in thought. "why did spike act so funny around me? he never messes up cookin' fer twilight" her eyes shifted from the sunset, staring at the green grass. "wait..." her eyes widen in realization. "what if he has a crush on me?" a second thought later, "nah." she shook her head. "he was just tryin' too hard ta please me." she nodded to herself, confirming her recent pondering, convinced she had solved it. ...until she started to think of spike, how helpful he was, despite the minor irritation he caused her, she thought on how eager he was, his eyes filled with need to serve her every whim. but thats why she felt uneasy. she couldn't take advantage. but she couldn't say no to him either. still...those bright emerald eyes that shine when he gazed at her, realizing she saved him, how he came up to her, and hugged her. it shocked her. she felt warmth for a fraction of a second.


aj closed her eyes in thought. he did save her in return, they were even. and that was that. but something within her, a longing begin to build.... "he is mighty kind..." she thought. "and thoughtful...and mighty cute." she smiled to herself, "so, gat-dang cute..." her eyes shot open. did she thought what she thought she thought?? she whip her head to the side, rising up off her butt and quicken her pace on the soft grass. "NOPE!" she said loudly. "nope!nope!nope!nope!" she blushed at the thoughts that lingered. she shook her head "ah'm foolin' mahself." she said, stopping, her eyes open with a glare, "if'n there's a prize fer rotten judgement, ah guess ah've already won that!" she spat. shaking her mane and tail. as she looked up at the starry sky. "no stallion or dragon ain't worth the aggravation!" she kicked the grass and continued to her homestead as she growled out, "that's ancient history, been there, done that!"  

but her inner thoughts sang out, causing her to clench her teeth. she glared pass the apple trees looking at her home far from where she was. ~who'd ya think yer kiddin' he's the earth and heaven to you! try keep it hidden honey, ah can see it right through ya!~ the southern tone of her inner voice tease, she shook her head and reason with herself with thoughts of rarity, - of spike fawning over the beauty mare. -yet her inner voice kept on nagging, ~girl, ya can't conceal it, ah know how ya feel and who're thinkin' of~  she huffed and lean against a tree, eyes shut tight as she thought of spike. they had their moments together, rarely, but that one certain image was stuck on her like a nail to the head when he almost-surely almost kissed her. she sighed heavy

"no chance, no way, ah wont say it!" she pulled her head back as she shouted to herself. -but the inner voice shot back- ~ya swoon, ya sigh, why deny it? uh-oooh!"  she dropped on all fours, and kicked the bark of the tree. "it's too cliche!" she argued, "ah won't say ah'm in love!"

she snorted, and continued her walk. leaving a pile of apples, she whipped her tail as she walked  with a determine glare. just a few more miles to the house. she talked to herself, "ah thought mah heart had learn its lesson, it feels so good when it start out..." she recalled when she was young. "mah head-ugh c'mon! get a grip girl!" she snarled to herself. "unless yer dyin' to cry yer heart out! oh!" she tossed her bangs out of her eyes, her eyes caught the glow of the moon, pausing as she stared. sighing longingly the moon mirrored that of spike cute little boyish giggle, and smile. she smiled, eyes dreaming possible scenarios..her inner thoughts caught her and said to prove a point. ~ya keep on denyin' who're are an' how yer feelin' sugar, ah'm not buyin' hon, ah saw ya hit the ceilin' face it like a grownup, when ya gonna own up? that ya got it bad!~  she sighed with a deadpan look, tearing her eyes away from the sky, scrowled, as she caught herself thinking, catching herself arguing with herself again. she moved forward ears twitching.

"whoa, no chance, no way" she bit her tongue in frustration as she neared the barn she saw some tools and picked them up  she open the barn to put them in their rightful place, she looked up at the wooden stall, and spoke to herself. "ah wont say it, no! no!" ~give up, give in!~ her thoughts push on. she covered her face in her hooves, as she flush red, spike constant in her mind now. she lower her hooves and sighed. eyes once again in a dream state, and had a goofy grin. her thoughts confirm this. ~check the grin, yer in love!~ she gasped and turned to an old mirrior and glared at herself.  "this scene wont play! ya hear? ah wont say ah'm in love!!" her mirror self just smirked knowingly. ~yer doin' flips, read mah lips, yer in love.~ she winked at her. she grab the mirror and tossed it out the window.  she breathed hard as she  went out the barn, turn and locked it secure then marched into the house, getting a can of apple soda, cracked it open with her teeth, she walked up the stair into her room, she took off her hat and hung it as she guzzled down the sweet bubbled apple drink before tossing it to the trash can as she breathed deep. eyes screwed shut, she flopped on to the bed, forelegs behind her head glaring at the ceiling.

her thoughts continued its battle. her thoughts were of spike again... those thoughts reason why it was alright to feel the way she did. her breathing became slow, relaxed. her eyes shut. as the best elements of spike came to her. ~girl, don't be proud.~ her inner thoughts said soothingly. ~its okay yer in love.~ she stretched her tired body. joint popped, muscles sore from the hard work."ooohhhh" she moaned, and relaxed and laid there for a minute. thinking it over. then she slowly turn to frame photos on the night stand. that of her friends of course. but one caught her eye. it was spike. who was leaning against AJ,  both smiling for the photo, which she remembered that day, it was the day her dog winona. he was there to help make sure that winona made it through the birth that evening. he came to help. armed with a bucket of water, wet towels the little trooper was determine to see the pups were safe. spike stood up all night watching over her dog, while aj got a few hours of sleep. she, was so worried about her,  she wanted to be there. but she was tired and being over worked as it is, then spike came along to lead a helping claw.

he would take care of her dog and the pups. by 6am he came to her, telling her she was giving birth. both watched with amazement. both clean, and helped, and encouraged winona. by 9 am she had a litter of seven. spike came through for applejack. she blinked, and smiled. running a hoof on the edge of his face of the photo. her eyes soften with love, admiring his kindness, his thoughtfulness, his loving and easy  personality. so loyal, so goddamn wonderful. rarity sure as hell didn't know how lucky she was. her leading spike on will be her undoing. that was fer fucking sure. and applejack thought to herself, rarity didn't deserve spike. and honest to god she made a decision to come out and say it. to tell spike how she felt. it was worth a shot. with a nod she admitted to herself  

"at least out loud," she pressed her lips on the picture frame centered on spike's face, then gazed at it, before setting it back on the night stand. clicking the light off, she sighed as she laid her head down "ah wont say ah'm in love.." her eyes closed, her thoughts of spike soon begin to take shape in her dreams. and not just any dream, it was the kind of dream that will inspire her to take the daring step to reveal her heart to him..by the next morning she will devises a plan to swoon the little dragon. ----

THE END
aj thinks back after the events of spike at your service, and realize she may have feelings for him, she wont admit it,  she refuses to fall in love. her inner thoughts though, say a different story.
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